Aug 2, 2013

Top Five Undead

Chan Sung-Jung
On Saturday, Chan Sung-Jung otherwise affectionately known as the Korean Zombie faces off against Jose Aldo for the UFC Featherweight Championship.  Even though he hasn’t fought in over a year, his first fight is against an absolute monster and he’ll likely lose, everyone loves them some Zombie.  In honor of this Cult hero’s title shot I’ve compiled a list of the greatest undead in pop culture.

Bruce Willis' character in The Sixth Sense

This was the beginning (and some would say the end) of the M. Night Shyamalan era.  Before truly shitastic movies like Lady in the Water and The Last Airbender(The Village, The Happening, After Earth....you get the point), audiences who watched this gripping movie were in a for quite twist when it was revealed that Bruce Willis’s character was dead all along.  I would like to say I was shocked as well but I saw that twist coming, because someone ruined the movie for me and spoiled the twist before I got to see the movie.  Still haven’t seen The Sixth Sense as a result.


Blacula

Why not Dracula you say? Because that’s too easy that’s why.  This man was a pioneer.  He was like the Jackie Robinson for black vampire kind.  Blade should bow down before his true daddy.  If they were ever to make a black Mt Rushmore the faces on it would go; Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks….and Blacula.



Michael Jackson


Never met ANYONE would didn't like Thriller.  Never met ANYONE who didn't like the music video for Thriller.  I’m also pretty sure  he died back in the eighties.  That explains everything weird that happened to the King of Pop.  The man was well on his way to looking like Skeletor.



Casper

Can’t have a list of the undead without the friendly ghost.  Most ghosts want to haunt you or possess your house or kidnap your babies.  Not Casper.  He just wanted to hang with Wendy.  Also a pretty biting insult when you call a pale dude Casper.  Burns like lava!


The Zombies from Resident Evil

Nostalgia pick right here.  I’ve been fighting these zombies since 1996 when the first Resident Evil came out for the Playstation.  If I learned anything about zombie survival from those games it’s this; a Rocket Launcher works everytime.

Honorable Mention-

Larry King

Much Like Michael, has likely been dead since the eighties too.

2 comments:

  1. Omissions:

    Seline from Underworld- hottest undead character ever. blue contacts? badass moves with guns? thirst for blood and tight leather? check check check

    Slimer from Ghostbusters- a pioneer in his own right. gets no love.

    Blade- Blacula may have paved the way but Blad made it to the mountain top of black badassness for undead characters.

    Beetlejuice- you know you have to say it three times every time

    Joan Rivers- gotta be a walking corpse. may or may not have pre-deceased Michael Jackson

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  2. All pretty good alternatives. Joan Rivers fits in the Larry King group no doubt

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